“What Do I Know” Wednesday.

For a recent baby shower, all the invitees were asked to bring with us a list of our top ten dos and don’ts of parenting.  For some reason, I am very uncomfortable dispensing parenting advice.  When friends ask me specific questions, I am happy to share my own personal experiences, a la “did you sleep train, Avery?” or “how old was Claire when she started drinking out of sippy cups?”  But when I am asked for overarching, general parenting advice, my discomfort is palpable.  Here are my objections: (a) what do I know?  I am only loosely scraping by with my own children.  Am I really qualified to advise you on parenting yours?  and (b) I have a strong conviction that all children are extremely unique and my parenting advice is doomed for failure.  My own children are perfect examples.  If I parented the CCS the way I parented the AJS, disaster would /does most certainly ensue.  However, if you are willing to take parenting advice from someone who within the last two hours said both “Claire, don’t lick my computer” and also “Avery, please don’t prop your foot on your sister’s shoulder,” then be my guest.  Here are my dos and don’ts.

DO be easy on yourself.  There are people for whom parenting comes easily.  I don’t know any of those people.  This is hard/wonderful – cut yourself copious amounts of slack.

DON’T compare your children or your parenting to others.  I, of course, do this constantly because it is SO tempting.  But at the end of the day, I think it is does more harm than good.

DO be generous with love and reading.  In my experience, these are some of the only things I have found that you can heap upon your children with little or no backlash.  

DON’T be afraid to make mistakes.  One of my dear friends (hi, Jill) told me when I had a tiny baby that I would do at least one horrible thing to my baby while she was small and helpless.  TRUTH.  Mine?  I cut the AJS’ tiny finger with the fingernail clippers (yes, the “baby-proof” ones) and was never allowed to trim nails again.  I drew blood.  If only that could remain as the worst thing I ever do to them.  Parenting is fraught with pitfalls.

DO enjoy the moment.  Each and every moment, however challenging, is inexplicably intertwined with beauty and joy.  Savor, sleep, repeat.

DO be generous to yourself.  DON’T feel guilty for making yourself a priority.  Both of these, much harder than they sound.

DON’T listen to a word I say.  Please see above, computer licking, etc.

You may notice that my ten dos and don’ts closely resembles eight. Like I said, I am bad at this.  Each night, I say a little prayer, thanking God my children are alive and more or less unharmed.  Yet another reason you might not listen to what I say. 

What makes your top ten list?  Tell me, I really want to know.  The comment section, you know what to do.