Preschool Postlude.

The inevitable has happened – the AJS has finished preschool. I cannot tell you how sweet and idyllic these past two years of preschool have been. Sometimes in life, it seems like you flounder and struggle to find the right fit, and other times everything falls right into place. We stumbled upon the perfect preschool fit for Avery, and what a blessing it has been.

We went to Avery’s preschool program, which was an impressive fractured fairy tale play, in which the AJS played the role of one of four little kittens. I felt a bit daunted when Avery’s lines were sent home from school for at-home rehearsal, but she knew them perfectly from our first practice. I think they spent quite a lot of practice time at school. Our little kitten (Furry) was tied into knots about having to sing a song off-key for comic effect- her perfectionist soul objects to off-key apparently. But come show-time, she delivered in an adequately squeaky singing voice.

And so it is with some anxiety, both on Avery’s part and also on mine, that we begin our kindergarten countdown. The AJS has shed some tears about (1) leaving her sweet teachers behind, (2) having her class split apart, and (3) not having as much time to spend with her mom (that’s my girl). And I must admit, that I get a lump in my throat when I think about that little AJS being gone from 8:00-3:00 each day. Who knew kindergarten would feel like such a leap?

So for today, we’re making our summer bucket lists and are going to make these sunny days count!

Mother’s Day Musings.

Here I am on my first Mother’s Day without my mother. I have received many sweet and thoughtful messages from my friends expressing their love and concern. I appreciate you so much friends, but I have to assure you – I am not sad.

I’m taking today to reflect and appreciate the thirty-four years, almost to the day, that I had the mother who was perfect for me. I so needed each day of those years to learn how to be a person, and most importantly, how to be a mother. I would have been desperately at sea these past five years of mother-dom without my Mom’s guiding hand. In my Mom’s last week with us, she, the bravest and strongest of humans, told me that she wasn’t sad or afraid to die but that she just didn’t want to leave her girls (me and my sister). It was then that I realized that my mom had given me everything I need to make it in this world because she had given me every ounce of herself. Reflecting on that time, I understand that there never could come a day that I would be ready to part with her because I am selfish and she was my favorite.

We started our Mother’s Day celebration today with lunch and shopping, and we ended it with ice-cream for dinner and a trip to the toy store. My children were incredulous over both of these events, the AJS questioning me at-length about the protocol of having ice-cream only for a meal. Today, I merely wanted to indulge and celebrate my two other favorites. I wanted to be the rule-breaker instead of the rule-enforcer. I thought of my mom often, remembering our own trips to Braum’s for ice-cream for dinner when my dad was out-of-town. Today was special, but everyday is special because I am with my family. How amazing is it to be able to hold my two biggest blessings in my arms each and everyday?

So today I reflect on all I learned from my own mother and recommit to my own goals as a mom, the greatest of which is to spend each day I have left being there for my kids, showing them my love.