Torts & Tots

Motherhood. Lawyer-dom. And maybe a few nice recipes.

The Crazy-Pants Chronicles.

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Crazy pants un Crazy pants deux

I’m sorry I have been such an absent blogger lately.  I would like to say that I have been busy doing something awesome, but the truth is that I have been busy chasing and recuperating from chasing my increasingly crazy CCS.  Although I remember 18 months being a challenging time with AJS, I had somehow forgotten all the insanity that comes with this age.  And Claire does her best to bring her own personal brand of crazy.   

When I get ready in the morning, I shut the bathroom door and try to get Claire to play while I get ready.  Fail.  She pushes her stool to the counter and turns on the water and spills it all over herself.  She climbs into the bathtub.  She jumps up and down in the shower.  She splashes in the toilet.  She tries to grab bottles of makeup and hide behind my clothes in the closet and open them.  One time last week, I found her behind my clothes with a handful of thick lotion in her hand en route to her mouth.  It takes me 30 minutes to slap on a coat of mascara and the least-impressive outfit ever.  I have always been of the “get out of the house and do stuff” with your baby mentality.  Epic fail.  Outings have become a bit thorny of late.  She bellows.  She twists her body at grotesque angles in order to wriggle out of my arms.  She can clear a dinner table with a swift sweep of her arm.  When all else fails, she stares at me from her high chair and chants “up” (which sounds like “hup”).  If you live around here and are out to eat and hear a baby shrieking, don’t bother looking.  It is us.  Even just playing around the house is a vigorous activity.  She runs from point A to point B.  She climbs on to any piece of clim-able furniture.  She eats crayons (fine, and dog food).  She rides the dogs.  No one is safe.

Last week, as she was sitting in my lap at a restaurant and banging my face with a spoon, for one of the only times ever since I’ve become a mom, I thought “I don’t think I’m doing this right.” 

Part of me wonders if Avery and Claire are in cahoots (also the name of country-western bar I frequented in college, fyi).  This age has made me seriously question if I could handle a third kid (score for CCS), plus Avery gets away with all sorts of stuff while I’m distracted with Claire (score for AJS).  A win-win for all the short people in my house.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I often wonder if they are evil geniuses in deceptively cute and smushy exteriors.

The upside is that Claire is sweet and extremely happy.  I also would be happy if I had my own personal human to torture 24 hours a day.  So I am trying to enjoy her amidst the chaos and repeat my parenting mantra “I will win eventually.”  Sometimes to get through the crazy, I hand out superlatives to my family in my mind (totally normal behavior).  This week, I have named Claire both “most likely to poop in my closet” and also “most likely to have cookie up her nose,” if that tells you anything about the state of affairs.  Maybe the crazy is contagious.


Written by tortsandtots

January 29, 2013 at 3:53 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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