Torts & Tots

Motherhood. Lawyer-dom. And maybe a few nice recipes.

Watch What You Say Wednesday.

with 3 comments

This past weekend, I was shopping with AJS.  I was perusing a clothing store with Avery in her stroller, when I turned into an area of the store where the racks of clothing were close together.  As we turned, I noticed a woman already there, with her back to us, and she appeared to be adjusting her clothing.  I slowly made my way down the aisle, and out of the corner of my eye, I could tell she was still adjusting and seemed to not notice us.  As we got closer, I kept my eyes locked on the clothing racks as the woman’s adjustments continued and seemed to be focused on her, ahem, deriere region.  To be clear, nothing outrageous was going on.  The best I could tell from my concentrated effort to not look at her, I think she was adjusting her pants with one hand and flipping through clothes with the other hand.  We finally got close enough to her that I was about to squeeze past.  At that point, she suddenly and (un) fortuitously turned around to face us and immediately looked down at Avery, who, up to that point, had been sitting suspiciously silently in her stroller with her eyes locked on the woman.  The woman smiled and said “hello” to AJS.  Avery then looked at me and loudly said “Mommy, I thought you told me that I am NOT supposed to play with my bottom.”

In that instant, many thoughts flashed through my head.  First and foremost, I considered saying “oh really, your mommy told you that?”  However, I realized that I would not be able to leave before Avery would quickly remind me that I am her mommy.  In lieu of anything that could have possibly alleviated my extreme embarrassment, I looked at Avery, looked at the woman, turned what I can only assume was a vivid shade of crimson, and hurriedly turned around and exited not only that aisle, but the entire store. 

I’m not sure what kind of conversation would have been appropriate to have with AJS at that moment.  I couldn’t think of a way to verbalize why she shouldn’t have asked me that, so I said nothing to her.  She, however, was not over it.  As we wheeled away, she repeated her question over and over again, until I finally said “I am only the boss of you.  I am not the boss of that woman.”  Oblivious to my mortification, Avery was adamant that she have equal rights to touch her bottom in public.  2016 presidential candidates, please take note. 

Ah, four-year-olds.  And, for the record, despite the embarrassment that ensued, I stand by my original advice to Avery.


Written by tortsandtots

December 12, 2012 at 8:37 am

Posted in Uncategorized

3 Responses

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  1. OMG, HILARIOUS!!!!!

    carrie cleaver

    December 12, 2012 at 8:42 am

  2. Ah yes. Rule 1. Do not play with thine own bottom. How quickly we forget.

    a gar

    December 12, 2012 at 9:00 am

    • Name one person you know that is successful that walks around with his/her hands in pants. Oh wait . . .


      December 12, 2012 at 9:38 am

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