Torts & Tots

Motherhood. Lawyer-dom. And maybe a few nice recipes.

The Blah Syndrome.

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Sometimes I feel like being at home with kids all day can be an emotional roller coaster.  I know I’m not the only one that feels this way because today two of the blogs in my blog roll (which is admittedly mommy-centric) express the same emotion, see below for links.  It’s easy to spin into a tunnel of “why me.”  Over the weekend, a friend and I were discussing that it is difficult to explain the isolated part of motherhood to others.  Honestly, this part doesn’t apply to me as much these days because attending to AJS’ schedule forces us out and about.  But we still have our moments.  The moments when I cannot fathom taking my grabby toddler and my inquisitive four-year-old to the store filled with breakables.  Or the moments when I wish I could just make one phone call without chubby hands pressing buttons.  The moments when I cancel lunch plans with friends because I know a storm’s-a-brewin’ with my kids.  And those moments lead to the days solidly inside the house.  Just me and them.  And sometimes, even when we are out of the house, it can still feel lonely – being on the receiving end of the “your life’s a mess” looks, enviously watching people have adult conversations, struggling to have enough hands to make it from the car to the restaurant (Chik Fil-A’s a restaurant, right?). 

But, truthfully, it’s a little hard to feel too sorry for myself for very long.  First and foremost, intellectually I know that any pity I feel for myself is truly self-indulgent as my “problems” are only a matter of perception.  Objectively, I have nothing to be sad about, ever, even on the craziest of days.  Beyond that, my children make it difficult to stay in a funk for long.  They are walking, talking melancholy busters.  For example, Avery on the way into school, in the most high-pitched, yet sweet, voice says “hi” to everyone she sees.  Our trip across the parking lot sounds like this “Hi Julia.  Hi Chris.  Hi Anna’s Mom.  Hi Liam.”  And as I drop her off “Hi Mrs. Richard.”  This week, as I take her out of her car seat, she tells me “drive carefully Mom.”  On our way home, Claire in the backseat has started saying “weeeeeee” as we round the corners.  Rolling down the snack aisle at the grocery store, Claire points at cracker boxes and says “cracka” with relish.  How can I be moody when their personalities are bubbling over each second of every day?  On the way to school this morning, Avery, as she watched the clouds, told me “the blue ones are the mans and the yellow ones are the girls.”  My children turn me into a pile of smiling mush.  If I try to start my day out churlish and surly, I end it feeling lucky, self-congratulatory and smug. 

To read different people’s perspective on the same situation, click here: http://taza-and-husband.blogspot.com/2012/10/why-thank-you.html and http://www.thedaybookblog.com/2012/10/blerg.html.

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Written by tortsandtots

October 23, 2012 at 9:56 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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