Torts & Tots

Motherhood. Lawyer-dom. And maybe a few nice recipes.

Life With Two, No Three, No Two.

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In case you’re wondering what this blog post is about, it is not about me announcing to the world that we’re having a third child.  What it is about is my trying to figure out how the heck people decide to have more kids.  As we are settling into life with two children, it feels busy.  When I take both kids somewhere to eat, I often wonder “how would I possibly manage this if I had a baby carrier in tow?”  As I am mopping up an entire drink that a child spilled on me, I think “who would hold the baby while I un-drench myself?”  Even when we’re at home, I sometimes feel like I am only loosely in control.  Just as Avery zigs, Claire often zags, which frequently leads to both of them getting into some type of trouble simultaneously.  I typically evaluate who’s doing the most harm and address that child.  Or yelling at Avery whilst diving for Claire often does the trick. 

When we decided to start trying for baby #2, it was not as difficult.  I was resolute that I did not want Avery to be an only child, and I wanted them to be close together in age, but not insanity-inducing close together.  We started trying as soon as I could possibly fathom being pregnant, having an infant, starting the entire process over again.  For us, that age was two, and Claire and Avery are exactly two-years and nine months apart.  My sticking points were that I did not want two children in diapers and I did not want two kids in cribs.  Even once I was pregnant with Claire, I had a hard time imagining how I would juggle both children because, at the time, Avery seemed little to me.

This time around, we are not ready to make a decision in the foreseeable future.  But yet we still discuss.  There have been points when we have felt like we definitely want more kids.  Those points typically have coincided with easy stages in Claire’s baby-dom.  Then, something usually happens to make life harder.  Ever since Claire has been walking, it’s been difficult for both of us to imagine adding another kid to the mix.  Well-played, Claire.

Which leads me to ask, HOW DO PEOPLE DO THIS?  How do you decide?  Avery and Claire are perfection.  I cannot imagine not having them.  Part of me wonders if there’s another person that is supposed to be part of our family about whom I will feel the same way.  Another part of me hates to shake up a formula that is working (ish).  Yet there’s a tiny piece of me that feels wistful when one of my friends announces a pregnancy. 

Seriously, send me your checklists, your pros, your cons, your “are you crazy” talks.  I will put them in the baby-making decision vault for future consideration.


Written by tortsandtots

September 27, 2012 at 2:59 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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