Torts & Tots

Motherhood. Lawyer-dom. And maybe a few nice recipes.

Dear Mom.

with 2 comments

Mom, I was thinking about you today.  Avery and I were having a chat on a yoga mat in the living room (long story).  I asked Avery if she would always be my little girl.  She quickly corrected me that she would always be my big girl.  I asked her if she would be my girl even when she grew up and got married.  She said “I’m not going to get married.”   Sigh of relief.  “I already got married.”  Sigh of  a different sort.  I’ll spare you the details – the conversation got weirder from there.  It made me think how easy it is to hold my little girl and listen to her and love her.  It’s like breathing.  The reason I know how to do this is you.  You’ve never said “this is how to love your little girls” but I’ve learned from a lifetime of being loved and supported by you.

We didn’t have our chat last night.  And we won’t have it tomorrow, either.  But we don’t need to talk or be together to be together.  When I pick myself apart, I always find you.  In high school, which was a sometimes tumultuous time in our relationship, I came and leaned against the bed and talked to you in the dark when I got home from being out with friends.  Sometimes it was just a recap of the night.  Other times, I was crying over a heartbreak.  But it was a calm time.  A time when I had to tell you everything in order to understand it myself.  And that’s where I go when I need you.

I wonder if mothers need daughters in the same way we need you.  The day that Claire was born, I remember how much I needed to see Avery.  I felt restless until she walked in the door.  I somehow needed my less-than-three-year-old there in order to know it was going to be okay.  So I have to think that maybe you need me sometimes to be okay.  Either way, if you need me, I hope I’m there with you tomorrow.  You’ll be with me.


Written by tortsandtots

May 22, 2012 at 9:05 am

Posted in Uncategorized

2 Responses

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  1. Claire: “Sorry, I didn’t quite get that. I’m busy eating beads.”

    ant gar

    May 29, 2012 at 6:55 pm

    • Sort of the story of her life.


      June 6, 2012 at 5:51 pm

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